Many women face daily pressure to conform...but nowhere does this seem so intense as it does in motherhood

I  HAVE read that a girl’s relationship with her father will predict her love life, and that with her mother will determine her relationship with herself.

It seems simplistic and heteronormative; the work of a pop psychologist flogging their new book on a morning chat show, minimising a complex bond to a sound bite. “Women become their mothers,” Oscar Wilde wrote.

“That is their tragedy.”

But perhaps it is not the becoming of our mothers that is the tragedy, but that we have been conditioned to fear it, to dread hearing our mothers’ voices emerge from our throats, our mothers’ faces forming across our own. There is an inevitability, a feeling that we have no control over our own destiny. We are born of their flesh and we become it.

Sign in or register for FREE to continue enjoying and to comment on our great range of writers

Not a member yet? Register here

More on this topic

Lindsay Woods: 'We made the decision to separate the kids'

Baby steps: Why new mums, like Meghan, need to take exercise slowly

Mum's the Word: Swimming against the tide to get space in the pool for the kids

Learning Points: Give your child a bad label and he’ll live up to it

More in this Section

Divorce Referendum: Yes or no - it's your choice

Divorce Referendum: Compassion that reflects life’s reality

Divorce Referendum: Enter the disposable relationship

Divorce Referendum: Regime keeps couple in toxic situation

More by this author

Talent is important but can't be sustained without good work ethic

It’s terrible how complacent we can become about Irish tourist attractions

When the last tree has been cut down, the last fish caught, the last river poisoned, only then will we realise that one cannot eat money

Libraries must be protected. If you’re not a member of your local library, why not?


Chelsea Flower Show feeling Brexit sting

Scientists say you really, really shouldn’t use homemade sunscreen from a recipe on Pinterest

Spoilers: Game of Thrones finale problematic in both plot and execution

The Earth's magnetic north pole is shifting rapidly – so what will happen to the northern lights?

More From The Irish Examiner